My first visit to this beautiful desert state was in July of 2004. I had no idea it would be the very beginning of a long, long journey resulting in healing and awareness, figuring out life, re-prioritizing, setting goals, reflecting on change, celebrating, and landing me where I am today.
It was my mom’s idea to go.
I had moved to Chicago to move in with my then boyfriend whom I dated my last 2 years of college long distance. I was in Cincinnati, he was in the Chicago suburbs. I did what I thought was the next logical step in the progression of our relationship. I made the mistake that so many others make…unknowingly, of course. I made a life changing decision without asking myself if it was the right thing to do. I made the decision like a robot programmed to go to the next level. I knew soon after we moved in together that it was wrong, but there I was. I had just graduated from college and was looking for a job. I found one…working at Neiman Marcus on Michigan Avenue. Not a month later, I was offered a position with a large corporation as a design assistant…I took it. It seemed like everything was going well…except my personal life. 9 months later, I made the hard decision to end the relationship and I had to scramble to figure out where I was going to live. To say it was a difficult time is an understatement…I was way over my head with the resulting consequences of my actions. Life lessons suck.
I had a flight to Vegas that I was no longer going to take (our trip together) due to the break-up. My mom said “let’s go to Scottsdale and relax.” Scottsdale? Arizona? Isn’t it hot there? But she assured me that it was beautiful and wonderful and just the thing to pull me out of dealing with my crumbling life. So I used my ticket to go with her in July of 2004. We stayed at the JW Marriott, we ate at Roy’s, we shopped at Kierland Commons, we laid out by the pool…I was hooked. It was my first time in the desert and my first time seeing cactus everywhere. How can a place like this…hotter than hell with dry sand everywhere…be so beautiful? How could life even survive here? I had a lot of questions regarding this new environment I was in. It was fascinating. Nothing should be living here, yet it does and it’s green and the cactus even have flowers in the spring. Life survives even the harshest of situations. I took the next few days to quietly think about my current situation wondering what I was going to do now. I had to rebuild my life to an extent. I put a plan together, and when I got home, I moved forward with it. Some answers, not all of them, but some, came to me in the warmth of that glorious hot sun.
Fast forward many years to 2011… I was getting married in a few months. I didn’t want a traditional bachelorette party, but rather, I wanted more than anything to go back to Scottsdale. I went for a long weekend with my mom and sister. I wasn’t there to mourn a broken relationship, I was there to celebrate and it felt wonderful.
I was on top of the world…I had succeeded and made my way thru the dating jungle! We had all these plans ahead of us… have kids, buy a bigger house, fix it up, go on summer family vacations every year. It was a wonderful couple of days there with restaurants, horse back riding in the desert, spa treatments, and lots of pool time. I remember looking over our balcony at the red mountains that surrounded our resort feeling thankful. I had come a long distance to get to where I was in that moment, and I was so happy to be back in the desert blanketed by warmth. People complain about the heat there, but I love it. Yes, it’s hot, but you need that kind of intense heat to reach the core of your soul…and that’s why I go back there.
Everything came to an end just a few years later. My world collapsed and I had to accept that I was going to have to rebuild once again, except now I had two small children in my life…and their needs came before my own. They were all that mattered to me. I ignored myself and the pain I was in. I was lost, absolutely, and all I wanted was to get back to Arizona if just for a few days. I had some questions to ask those mountains. I had some mourning and quiet crying to do. I needed to know what to do next. My heart needed a break. My mom and sister said Yes to another trip to Scottsdale, I am thankful that they did. It was a wonderful few days where I could heal, if just a little bit. It meant a lot that they were there with me. The process of rebuilding my life was going to be a long one. One thing I heard clearly from those mountains was GO SLOW. I took a lot of deep breaths during that trip. I put a plan together in my head and came home to my wonderful kids. They needed a mom who had her sh*t together. Period, no exceptions. I needed to find a new home, I needed to work on myself (I wasn’t blameless in things falling apart), and I needed to be there for my kids. When in Arizona, I also realized that I had some family relationships I needed to repair. Spending time with my sister was really nice, and I wanted to do that more. I hadn’t seen my brother in years, and I wanted to fix that too. Those Arizona mountains have insight and inspiration…if you’re listening. They warned me not to hold on to life destroying feelings like anger and resentment. I felt a deep sadness that I had to look square in the eyes and deal with. I slowly moved forward with a new life…like, turtle slow. And I’m so glad I did.
Fast forward to 2019… life is good 🙂 It has been many years since my marriage ended, I also have been living in my new house for a few years as well and my fiancee (the most wonderful wonderful man) had just moved in a few months prior. My mom and sister were down for another visit to Scottsdale and so we traveled there in September. A wonderful trip with lots of laughing and pool-side drinks. The desert and mountains greeted me with a warm hug, almost like visiting a family member I hadn’t seen in years and was so happy we were together again! I left that trip knowing that I had to bring Nate to Arizona. All I wanted was to share this place with him. I surprised him with a trip to Scottsdale and Sedona in 2021.
To experience a place that meant so much to me on the deepest level was amazing. While we were there, we talked about bringing our kids (we have 4!) to Scottsdale so that we could share it with them. And we did that this year! They were enthralled with the cactus. The heat? Not so much….still, we swam every day and went hiking in the Sonoran. It felt like I had reached the end of this journey that began all the way back in 2004. It felt good.
Arizona is special. It was a foreign planet to me back in 2004 but today it feels like my other home. I think what I like the most about it is that it is a harsh environment where beauty lives and survives. Someone told me once that “everything in the desert is trying to kill you” which makes me laugh. I can see that…120 degree weather, what can survive in this hellfire heat? Snakes, scorpions, coyotes…predators everywhere. Dry desert all around…no water? How can plants thrive and survive? Doesn’t that seem like life sometimes? How does one thrive and survive this life that can be so harsh and hard at times? We just do. We find a way. The cactus do it, they’ve evolved into these beautiful machines that don’t need a lot of water, are bright green and healthy, shockingly, and even bloom flowers in the spring. They’ve evolved their defenses to include long sharp needles to keep predators away. They have survived and they do quite well. If they can do it, I certainly can. I like going there as a reminder of what I’m capable of surviving.
Travel, in my opinion, is so much more than just saying you’re somewhere else. Traveling to new places could be a pivotal step in your life, a point in time where you’re smacked in the face with reality AND insight to move forward. We are all looking for answers… and I say, travel. The ocean brings clarity…the mountains offer wisdom…the desert offers peace. I can’t say that answers always come, but eventually they do. I can’t say that realization is a fast process, it was pretty damn slow for me. I do think that traveling to new places, whether it be just yourself or with another adventurer, changes things. It changes you. And if you’re willing to walk, not run, you’ll get to where you’ve always wanted to be. Slow and steady wins the race…everyone knows that. I’ve always found that reflection was best surrounded by mountains. I’ve always found that my soul can actually relax and breathe when by the ocean. Travel changed my life and has been the voice of reason over the last 2 decades.
Go adventure… ask your questions, experience new things, do some reflection on your own personal journey. One of my favorite inspirational quotes is “love life no matter how bad it treats you”…I am grateful for this life and the many opportunities I’ve had to learn hard lessons and rise from them. Travel has been a big part of my life transformation. Nate and I are fortunate to be able to travel around, local and far away places, as much as we do and it is something I cherish and never take for granted. Looking forward to next year’s travel plans…and…very much looking forward to hearing what the ocean and mountains have to say.
Heather
Welcome to our Book of Adventures 